My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
