hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
