We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He better not be in your backpack
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
