Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
