Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
