the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
