I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize