I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
