Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
