Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
