is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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