I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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