we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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