we're blogging at a bar
I will die if light touches me.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
