I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
