Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
