Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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