I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Randomize