Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
