True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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