In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
