i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
