But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
