can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
