i just wanna soil my oats bro
You can't motorboat a personality
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize