i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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