Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
