im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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