Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
