It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
