You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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