is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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