I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
