he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
