remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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