I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
