walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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