took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
