She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
