Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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