I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
