Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
