The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
