direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
