Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
