Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Randomize
