Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
