We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Randomize
