so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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