Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
