Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
