Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
