Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
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You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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