party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My balls are so social today.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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