I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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