The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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