there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
