That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
