I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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