the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
