I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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