just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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