Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
