I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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